Rough justice
Last updated at 10:40, Tuesday, 16 June 2009
GOLF, they tell us, is essentially a simple game. Take the drive – and there’s nothing more satisfying than sloshing a snifter from the meat of the bat, especially if it runs a dozen yards past your mate’s. Apply the Vardon grip, assume your stance and focus.
It must not be pushed too far to the right, nor pulled too far to the left. But, swatted down the centre of the fairway, which has been specially cut for that very purpose. So far, so good. Nothing could be more straightforward.
When playing approach shots take a bacon-slice of turf (after the ball), thus ensuring crisp contact with plenty of bite! Obviously – what could be plainer?
And, on the putting green, remember the adage “never up, never in”. Absolutely.
There we have it, the essentials of golf – simple, concise, to the point.
As the good book says, stray not from the paths of righteousness and you'll never sacrifice stroke and distance in the rhubarb! Or words to that effect.
If only. It’s the Pros. They mean well, but complicate matters.
Ever since St Andrew’s prophet Morris the elder spake the immortal words – “Hoots, laddie! Keep ye heed doon, yer ee on the ball and dinna press” – golfers have been paralysed by a Pandora’s box of swing thoughts known to move grown men to tears. By Hogan, yes.
The legends haven't helped matters. The great RT Jones Jnr, he of the immortal Grand Slam, began one chapter of instruction: The Pivot. A mystery.
Then there was fabulous Slammin’ Sam Snead advocating gripping the club as though it was a little bird – you should hear our budgie’s thoughts on that one!
Even Hogan, perhaps the greatest shotmaker of them all, demanded we lead with the hips, perhaps forgetting some of us haven't seen them for years.
And when Tiger let it be known he gained extra length from a firm left side, the oracle had spoken. You could hear a collective Ouch! from 40-year-old-plus golfers the breadth the country.
But take no notice of the ramblings of one who loved not wisely, but too well.
Golf remains the noblest of games. Anyone wishing to take it up will discover fresh air, exercise, companionship, and a rewarding challenge for life.
I've been at it over 40 years and can recommend anyone remotely interested to give the game, nay vocation, a try.
As in most sports, early instruction to stop bad habits developing is vital.
PGA professional Mike Newton at Barrow Golf Club can help you there. Mike has a state-of-the-art indoor teaching bay when you can hit your first balls without pressure and in perfect safety. His vast teaching experience is supported by computer generated analysis which measures everything from your swing speed to the spin-rate of the ball, allowing Mike to provide a perfect set of clubs to suit your swing.
At Ulverston Golf Club, PGA Pro Paul Stoller runs a friendly professional’s shop, well stocked with equipment, clothing and accessories, to delight golfers and non-players alike.
Paul is also an excellent teacher and in his safe hands beginners, intermediates and advanced players can gain insights into how the game should be played.
You don't have to be a member of a golf club to benefit from their expertise. Mike and Paul’s lessons’ diaries are open to all.
Furness has a wealth of fine courses to choose from.
Furness Golf Club is, I believe, the sixth oldest in the country. It’s a natural links course with some wonderful holes, especially when turning for home along the shore, often into prevailing wind.
Dunnerholme Golf Club, in Askam, is also a natural links with an ambience all of its own. The wind plays a significant part here, too, and nobody burns this one up without a scrap.
If wonderful scenery is your thing, join Ulverston. This course was once a deer park and strolling its immaculate tree-lined fairways on a sunny spring morning puts one in mind of Augusta National, without the water.
But for fabulous views of the Coniston Fells, look no further than Barrow Golf Club. Their friendly clubhouse has picture-windows gazing out over the final green, back up the long 18th Fairway and right to the very top of Black Combe.
Taking up golf is not a decision to be taken lightly. There are costs involved. A good set of clubs will set you back a few hundred pounds and you can pay over £200 for a driver made by the leading manufacturers – and beware, once you become an enthusiast so beautiful are these gleaming desirables they tempt the unwary into an attic-room brimming with cast-off clubs that promised everything from eliminating a slice to guaranteeing extra distance – the golfer’s Holy Grail.
My advice is: try this wonderful game, but walk before you run.
A short drive along the Coast Road will discover a charming little par-three course. Links in style, it has a delightful series of holes with proper greens. Here you can hire a couple of clubs and enjoy a fun game with your kids.
Or if you live in Barrow why not visit the driving range at Hawthwaite Lane where you can bash away to your heart’s content without bothering anyone? This has a pleasant short course with good greens and a water hazard.
TV’s favourite commentator Peter Allis has been heard to say golf can be a cruel game.
But never despair. If those myriad swing thoughts cloud your mind, those inner demons reduce your £250 putter to a writhing snake or your wedge develops an allergy to sand, you can always forget those fundamentals and take a leaf out of John Daly’s book – grip it and RIP IT!
First published at 11:38, Friday, 12 June 2009
Published by http://www.nwemail.co.uk
